Yamcha Saves the World
by Epidox
Summary: Majin Buu is terrorizing the Earth, and there's only one man who can put an end to it.


_**Author's Note:** I wrote this really quickly because my hard drive broke and I'm on Ubuntu temporarily. It's probably really terrible, but... eh._

* * *

Silence had fallen over the battlefield. With all his opponents incapacitated or killed, Majin Buu had drifted off with Babidi in tow to terrorize the Earth. His last battle with Vegeta had unleashed a show of energy so powerful that anyone left capable of sensing energy had ended up with a headache.

Yamcha, in particular, had deliberated for a very long time and had been sure that he was going to turn back at some point, but he decided to push on regardless, motivated by what was perhaps not the happiest of thoughts.

 _With a power level like that, I'm probably gonna die sooner or later... if this doesn't work, I'll at least have died trying._

He had spent the past seven years preparing for that day. Well, maybe not _that_ day, specifically—just the day the next catastrophe struck. Ever since the battle against the Saiyans all those years ago, he had been feeling a sense of uselessness, like there wasn't actually a point to him training and growing stronger. No matter what he did, it seemed like he could never keep up with the others.

 _To think that I almost beat Goku that one time._

 _Almost, mind you._

 _And he was hungry at the time, so he wasn't exactly at his best._

…

Okay, so maybe he'd never been a match for the other fighters of Earth. Especially after the whole Super Saiyan thing came about, he'd practically been reduced to 'that one guy who stood around in shock at how strong everyone was'.

"But not anymore..."

This time, he was prepared. He'd devoted all his time and energy to this, and now, he finally had his chance.

"I AM GOING TO BE USEFUL!"

Flaring his aura, he picked up his pace, and sped off towards Majin Buu's energy.

* * *

"This is my base form."

Hovering in the air above the ocean, Goku was facing against Majin Buu. Actually, to be exact, he was just buying time for Trunks to go home and find the Dragon Radar.

 _I mean, I could probably beat Majin Buu myself, but if I just save the Earth like that, I'm not gonna give Goten and Trunks a chance to do it themselves._

"Us Saiyans are able to transform to increase our power in battle," he said. Effortlessly and wordlessly, a golden aura welled up around him. His hair took on the same shade of yellow, and his eyes shifted from black to a brilliant blue.

"This form is what we call a Super Saiyan. In this form, we're much stronger, faster, and can gather much more energy in combat."

Majin Buu looked at Goku with childlike curiosity. "How strong?"

"Huh?"

"How strong is Super... Saiyajin?"

"You mean compared to my base form? Hmm..." Goku considered the question for a moment, realizing that he'd never thought of it before. "I don't really know, I think it depends on the plot."

"What?

"It increases our power by a factor of about... fifty." It was a blind guess on Goku's part, but it _did_ kinda make sense, so he rolled with it.

 _On the plus side, I'm buying all the time in the world._

"Aaaanyway..." he continued. "if I were to fight you in this form, you'd destroy me with ease, so let's kick it up a notch."

Goku's casual expression turned serious for a moment as he gave a grunt of effort. With another burst of added energy, the air was ignited with sparks of electricity as he ascended past the level of a normal Super Saiyan. The steady, rhythmic _shh, shh, shh_ of the Super Saiyan aura grew louder and faster.

"Now if you push it even further, you enter this stage, which we call a Super Saiyan 2." Goku grinned. "This is the form Vegeta was in while he was fighting you—" _I mean, I'm guessing it was. I was unconscious at the time. It'd be pretty stupid of him if he wasn't in this form... "_ —so even though in this form, my power is, uh... double that of a Super Sa—is it double...? Ye-yes, yes..."

Majin Buu and Babidi stared.

"Even though my power in this form is double that of a normal Super Saiyan, it's still not enough to beat you," he declared. "So that means I'll have to go even... further..."

His voice became strained suddenly. He reached deep within his soul, searching for that _something_ that he knew lurked beneath. As soon as he grabbed hold of this new, hidden well of power, it was like every fiber in his body had been set alight—all his muscles contracted and tensed to their absolute limit—and it was all he could do not to scream.

"Hey, Goku!"

"...BEYON—!"

There was a sound like a turbine spinning down. Yamcha's voice broke Goku from his reverie, and the power he'd been calling forth was dispelled harmlessly in the air. "Ha—wha...?"

"What were you planning to do there?" Yamcha asked. The two stared at each other for a moment, until a look of realization dawned on the bandit's face. "Wait, don't tell me you can go past a Super Saiyan 2, 'cause that would be just..."

Whatever he said next, Goku couldn't hear, as it was mumbled too quietly.

"I... what—Yamcha! Get out of here now!" Goku's voice took on a dangerous tone. "Majin Buu is too strong, he could kill you without a second thought!"

"I know," Yamcha said darkly, turning to face the pink demon. "Give me a minute."

He reached for a small bag tied to his belt, opening it and removing the only thing on its inside. It was a small, glass jar with the words 'MAJIN BUU' written on it in sharpie. He held the jar in his hand, staring intently at it for many, silent seconds. Finally, he turned towards Majin Buu. Holding the jar out in front of him, he uttered a single word.

"Mafuba."

Goku's eyes widened. "No, Yamcha! You'll die!"

"Yeah, about that," said Yamcha, facing backwards to look at his friend. "I've been practicing this technique for a long time. It's really no big deal."

"Oh... oh, okay." Goku breathed a sigh of relief. "You had me scared there for a... wait—you _practiced_ the Mafuba?"

"Yup."

Goku blinked. "...how?"

It was at around that time that the technique began to take effect. It started with a strange sensation that washed over Majin Buu, one he couldn't place and one to which he could only respond by tilting his head in confusion.

"Well, you see, when I tried it for the first time... I was in a bad spot in life," he said, looking down. "I used it on a spider. I was honestly surprised when I didn't die, so I started practicing it whenever I could."

"Huh."

The sensation had escalated into a deep, wrenching pain that centered right in Majin Buu's head, which he began to clutch in agony. His vision blurred as he was hit with a pervading feeling of weakness. In order to try to dull the pain, he began to build up pressure inside of him, which he released in large puffs of smoke from the pores all over his arms and head, making strange kettle-like sounds with each puff. From the sidelines, Babidi looked on in panic.

"Yeah, it turns out that the legend reaaally blows it out of proportion. Either that or it just stops mattering when you're strong enough."

"Hah! That's awesome," said Goku. "Would have been really nice to know, uh..."

"...Goku?"

"How strong are you, Yamcha?" Goku asked.

"Well I... I don't know, actually, but I think I'd be able to keep up with one of those Ginyu Force guys," said Yamcha.

Goku tried to recall the Ginyu Force's energy. "Hmm..."

It wasn't working. No matter how many puffs of smoke he'd let out, the pain simply kept on building. He was experiencing tunnel vision, the world around him fading into blackness, and the only thing he could see was the jar the human was holding, and it was as if he was being pulled towards it by a gravitational force he couldn't fight against.

"Yeah, that seems about right," said Goku. "Would have been really nice to know twelve years ago!"

Yamcha stared at him. "Goku?"

"Yeah?"

"...fuck you,"

"Huh?"

The force was too strong. Like an infinitely massive black hole, the jar's pull stretched Majin Buu's form, reducing him into a liquefied mess which propelled itself into the jar, compressing and forcing all of his mass into a tiny space, which the human then sealed with a plastic cap.

"Jar's done!" Yamcha held the MAJIN BUU jar up proudly before handing it to Goku. "Here you go, man. Feel free to do that Super Saiyan 3 thing you were doing earlier. Just make sure you destroy ever atom of the jar at the same time and that should about do it."

Goku took the jar, giving him a grateful smile. "Thank you, Yamcha. You saved the world."

"You're damn right I did."

Yamcha heaved a sigh, and turned to look in the direction of Kami's Lookout. "I'm gonna go talk to Bulma."

"I don't really think that's such a good idea," Goku said. "I mean, the love of her life died a few hours ago."

"...exactly."

With a burst of energy, Yamcha sped off into the distance, leaving Goku and a distraught Babidi behind.


End file.
